Damaged intentions

My Diary Entry

The clattering of the rails creates a soothing melody

My skin has felt pale as if tainted by empathy

Cold thrills caressing my spine entwined in a dance

Images reflected in the stream next to the train, seem to prance

I sit alone in a four seat the brown leather softly squeaks

  Each movement though meek still feels like despair speaks

Fear which was locked has now found places to leak

But the origin of this emotion is what I do seek

But fear of this fear is driving me insane

Souls surround me yet I feel alone on the train

Conversations by others run through my mind

But nothing but buzzing is left behind

But whispers of moments enclosed in shadow feel close

Forcing my eyes to shut and visualize a rose

  Soaked and dipped in blood of a body unknown

I can’t stop shaking I need to get home

My Latest Poem

Born from a pair who started in love

Their hearts matched like glove

But as time would flow a distance would grow

This would ever so slow cause them to let go

But moments shared create an attachment

Emotions and hearts then struggle for placement

Fights become common as letting go seems hard

The sacred body of their love has thus been scarred

I’m caught in between a young teen placed in a scene

Which was once a dream

My dad seems unwilling to compromise

My mom is obsessed with discovering lies

Screams would ring through the night day in, day out

Sometimes till the coming of light came about

Until one day a silence gripped this once so happy home

My heart then took a trip to a case created of bone

Locked and broken unable to open feeling like a stone

Placed on my chest to rest as his intentions were confessed

He would leave my mother but not to be with another

Simply because he could not handle the bother

Of a family or wife … to me they are the same

We are now shattered fragments of a collected pain

I hate him for leaving us but am forced to love him

He destroyed us by the merest of his whim

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him

My Scariest Moment

As my key goes in my senses ring as an unknown smell is hanging

It seems to be basking in the fear I’m masking so the question I’m asking

Comes out as if I know the answer to be foul

“D-D-Dad are you home” the silence covers me like a cowl

No reply just whispers of wind passing by

The atmosphere is so crushing I can almost cry

My premonition combined with this damp tension

Creates a vision so terrible I dare not mention

I walk in a slow pace every step feels ominous

Go past every room insecure and cautious

Bathroom, living room, kitchen my room

None hold his frame, leaving one to consume

As my hand touches the door a chill reaches my core

The smell now covers me as I open it up a little more

My Weirdest moment

That smell was death; he lays there without a breath

To give or receive his spirit has left

As I stand in shock I feel like a rock

Emotions are blocked

He was sick; a simple flu is what we thought

But Bronchi pneumonia is what it brought

I rush to the phone and ask for help to come

But from my own tone I knew it was too late, it’s done

He is dead he is gone I scream and cry

Replay and rewind one word: why, why, why

As tears roll down my cheek I suddenly feel disgusting

Cause even, after all, he put me through I shouldn’t be smiling

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