I think she loved me

I remember the kiss on my forehead

It weren’t the ones she spoke but the ones she never said

From every conversation we had

The words that never drove me mad

Were placed in a dark corner of her heart

It were these simple words that held us apart

But I remember that kiss on my forehead

After which she whispered “I wish you were dead”

And dropped me in a trash bin

As she walked away as if I was less than nothing

I couldn’t hear her sobbing

Because no tears were shed

I know, for she said that she wished that I was dead

As my little hands tried to claw their way up

My nails weren’t enough so I was stuck

I kept falling back, with bags of trash as my cushion

Understanding I lack, because time after time I clashed

With these sacks, filled with items who once held more value than me

Her slaps, her disappointing looks are the images of my first memory

 She never took me outside, simply told me she was ashamed

She made it no secret, that I was to be blamed

I was born, to annoy her

I was given life only to be useless to her

But she still kissed me on the forehead and the words she said were

“I wish you were dead”

My father, never made himself known

Maybe I reminded her of him, and the fact that she was alone

My screams seem to be as useless as I am

For this alley is clearly meant for the forsaken and damned

She knew where she dumped her only son

I hope now that her constant depression will be done

I hope she can be happy, and enjoy life

For now she has abandoned a constant source of strife

A pain in my chest whenever she looked at me

With eyes that held nothing but honesty

She sincerely hated me

I tried my best to get on her good side

I made glasses out of clay, so that her look could hide

I placed kisses on paper, on the walls and on her cheek

For each kiss a beating was given, until I learned not to speak

Simply be quite and listen

But it seems this wasn’t enough as well

It seems this wasn’t sufficient to exit our hell

She said a lot to me during our time together

At times it felt like her insults kept getting better and better

But no words hurt more than words she left unspoken

No hit could ever leave me more broken

She never whispered it, never gave a clue

But her actions are nothing if not true

She never said it, but I think she loves me

Even though she now has officially left me

I still don’t understand what I did wrong

Maybe our ties weren’t that strong

Maybe I didn’t grow fast enough

But growing up sometimes can be tough

Especially if you’re a little person bound to never exceed a certain height

I just hope that isn’t the reason I’m here this night

But I remember the kiss on my forehead

And that she whispered, I wish you were dead

I still believe … I still think

She loves me … right mommy?

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