Looking ahead and back

My eyes fill up with tears that I can’t explain
I swear to you I can hear deaths whisper I can hear him say my name
I can’t believe I’m standing here looking at this
Elegant breezes of wind pass by me and they also carry away my wish
My wish that this place would be safe
The hair at the back of my neck tell me this the right place
Now as a storm gathers around me I close my eyes to smell its scent
It’s absurd location yes this is the place to which I was sent
The smell of darkness the smell of pain
The same breeze passes me again but now it carries my name
This place is calling for me but I dare not to get close
Fear clutches my soul …
Terrifies my heart and sends shooting pain down even to my toes
I want to scream but my voice has forsaken me
Tranquility in silence is usually my thing but now it scares me
The fright of not knowing what is ahead and how I got here
The pain of looking at something you know but not knowing what is inside there
I often saw this place in my dreams
Or late at night when I looked at the ceiling
And closed my eyes and hear my ghost scream
This is why it screamed this is what haunts me so
This place is that place can it be
I refuse to acknowledge it…
The serene backdrop the calming waters the shaky bridge
I have not moved a muscle since I got here am I so afraid of this bridge
2 hours of staring at something that just stares back
Is enough to make any man go insane is enough to make any mans sanity crack
But mine was already cracked mine was already broken
When I heard that I’m dying my will to live was already broken
“You’ve got 3 days to live sorry but there is nothing we can do”
I know it wasn’t his fault but I still screamed at him FUCK YOU
I left mad as hell and full of rage
I can’t believe I won’t even make it pas this young an age
But I always said if I was to go in a certain amount of time I would prepare and do it
I would kill as much people as I could so why now hesitate to do it
I mean I am already going to hell why try to deny it
I was a bastard a little demon … come on even I knew I never would amount to shit
But now I can at least make sure my name is held up through the ages
Bad things are always remembered so all I need to do is just…..
Come on get a grip and let’s do what needs to be done
I enjoy all the sick thoughts in my head so performing em would be even more fun
So ok … lets man up and throw away all morals and fear
I mean insanity is within my grasp I mean craziness is so near
All I have to do is get over this bridge and open that door
I mean if I turn back now what, was the use of going in to my own psyche for
I mean I broke my own mind down I entered into my own soul
I needed to visit this place to let wickedness take over my own soul
So all I need is 50 steps and I will be a demon for the rest of my life
2 days of pure hell to give … and to take away life
I can see the red eyes in every room looking and waiting for my first step
We all must face our own demons so now let me take my first step
This is my own mind this is within me
So I must be one hell of a fool to be scared of me
So now let’s drop the act and do what we came to do
I take one look at the sky and scream I FUCKING HATE YOU
walks across the bridge

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