I miss you

There is this letter on my nightstand I wrote for you
And placing it on yours is something I’ve been trying to do
But there are these hidden lines I dare not cross
Given to me by customs where pride is the boss
And shame its henchmen, restricting my so-called “wants”
I have this notebook in the pocket of my favourite pants
I filled each page with poems about you
I’ve been hinting at it for weeks now, every day I’ve been giving you a clue
But to reach deep down and take it out terrifies me
For after that, I would have to place it in your hand
Just imagining you keeping your hands in your pockets is too scary
I have this ideal setup in mind for when, but things never go as planned
I have this text in my phone I wrote while you were away
I’ve been wanting to divide it into pieces and send you one a day
But my bars are never sufficient to send it
My service keeps telling me it’s too long, I have to shorten it
But whenever I open it, I inexplicably keep adding to it
Someday I will trade phones with you, so you can read it as it is
And understand what love is
I have this Word document in my cloud I can’t seem to share
It has over a million variations of the question “Do you still care?”
Whenever I want to link you to it, I get this pop-up telling me I can’t do it
Because the file has been corrupted, but for some reason I can still write in it
I have this one word written on the palm of my hand
I want to caress your cheek and see if it will stay with you
I can’t wash my hands, can’t shake hands, can’t even wave anymore
Not until I give it to you
I have these Post-its that I wrote because all my regular paper became too soggy
I now have a closet full of yellow, green, blue and grey notes to make you happy
At least I think they will make you happy
Because who wouldn’t want to be missed like this?
They told me my heart wouldn’t be able to handle a love this true
I already know that you miss me less than I miss you
I already know that you’ve moved on
I know these feelings to be wrong
But that doesn’t prevent me from crying
That doesn’t prevent me from writing
I have these words for you
And one day I will give them to you

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