Life’s like a box of chocolates never know what you’re gonna get

My mind swims in a pool of memory

My emotion drowns in a lake of misery

My words seemed dipped in agony

Laughter now feels like history

Hands over my face my stature seems calm

Thoughts all over the place my breaths don’t leave my palm

Scared to glance into the windows of another’s soul

Afraid my look will foretell my role

In this story … in this script … in this situation

It’s crazy but my lip can’t stop its vibration

It signals tears are hiding … waiting for their time

Let them wait … not one will be shed it is not her time

The fight is declared useless with a single tear rolling

With tears in my eyes I flashback to what she was holding

A picture of me in my younger years

My belly turns painfully as I release my tears

Shivers throughout my entire body

Goosebumps as I envisage my mommy

Laying on the ground her heart not making a sound

Whereas mine starts to pound to the point it becomes too loud

Until it stops and I realize what must be done

Grab the phone through tears and confusion I give information

They ask the cause of the situation I display a slight hesitation

But answer sleeping pills and a lot so it seems

And tell them she looks like she is dreaming the dream of dreams

They rush to the scene and aid me … lift her up and brought her here

They pumped her stomach and told me there is nothing to fear

But the toxins might have had a slightly worse effect than they thought

So in deaths palms, she might still be caught

So as I sit here in tears that forced themselves out

With every second that passes I want to shout

Scream and yell

Display my frustration curse everyone to hell

But just when my head reaches fever pitch

Everything slows down as if I’m caught in the matrix

The doctor who helped mother is walking towards me

With every step he takes terror consumes my body

Until he stands in front of me and tells me she is ok

I scream … hug him and start running her way

And as I enter the door I can see her looking my way

And again my world stops as I hear her say

“What the fuck are you doing here”

Ma look I’m sorry “no get the fuck out of here”

Ma will you please listen to me

“NO, I refuse you are nothing to me”

MA how can you talk like this to your first born

“It would have been better if you were never born”

“If your father was still alive he would say the same”

“I’m embarrassed and ashamed that you carry my last name”

“Now leave here and never again show your face in front of me”

Broken and shattered both our spirits be

She broke our bond by her act and words so heavy

As I stand outside her door crying he comes to comfort me

My cousin.

My best friend when there is rain I know he will be my cover

As I confine in him again and tell him what made me and my mother suffer

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told her that you were my lover”

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