Ghostly Presence

Focused on memory flashes of history
Passing me vividly leaving no empathy
My past is agony haunting me heavily
This is my destiny that is what scares me
So as each day passes I evade the masses
Stay out their path, hope I have cast
Away at last but despair amassed
All alone with no home to call my own
But my vicinity tells me similarity
Of a despondency like me stands closely

Death found me with ease there were no pleas
Took among trees dropped to my knees
Shot through the chest violently put to rest
Murdered and dumped never reaching my crest
Clearly not my choice but they silenced my voice
The oldest of my dad his boys
Picked to depict revenge for unpaid debts
Kicked and hit to meet the rivers depths
As I stare at the place where my mind and body lost their lace
Where I was lost without a trace I feel my pain shown in my face
But no tear shall be shed for I am still dead
I look for the things I never had and all the things I never said
And at the same time my mind allows me to unwind
Because all of a sudden I don’t feel so left behind
As if something or someone finally feels my pain
Could the isolation be done could someone whisper my name

Why am I back on this overpass did I not collect the brass
Did I not leap am I to weak were my convictions to meek
Or was it a dream a untold scene created by an unstable teen
Yet I remember the feel of steel under my bare heel
The sense of no control as I turn cold in deaths icy hold
A broken heart I couldn’t bare as I glare and almost stare
At a recollection so unfair pain and sorrow became a pair
After three years of sacrifice and tears sharing secrets and fears
Treating one another like peers stereotypes turn into seers
He cheated on me with sum hussy
Traded our love for a one night stand used a condom so it was planned
My soul and heart now feel so damned rest from pain was all I demand
But the boy with the light wasn’t here before
And the urge to jump isn’t here anymore
Wonder where he came from and why he is here
He looks troubled and yet his eyes seem so clear

The light they carry is to find their way
The burden they bear is their dismay
One new and one old
Both their stories have been told
Over and over they reiterate
And always in the same place and state
Yet I refuse to acknowledge it
I know the bridge I do pass it
But in my sleep they come and in my dreams they stay
I know what I need to do but it doesn’t feel okay
Ever since my suicide attempt this dream haunts me so
As if their pain has found me and wants me to know
That there is a place where my aid can be made useful
But I don’t believe in spirits that is just truthful
But they do need my help, Amano the most
But who would be crazy enough to help a ghost

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