Welcome to the Bank of Social Media where we specialize in social currency
And we help with the way you are perceived by the online society
The first step is to find which plan best suits your needs
Each of which is defined by your final so called “social feed”
Our first plan is copper, this is the so called starters kit
Your social feed consists of likes on other people’s items but you never post on it
Your profile pic is an avatar and you rarely use the account
Remember, that with this one your social currency will stay at a low amount
Our next plan is bronze, with this your efforts are at a bare minimum
You post around once a month, the account is only to add friends and talk to them
But your social currency will still be as low as they come
Our next plan is silver, and artists tend to prefer this one
In this plan you share things you aspire to, things you do or things you make
Anything creative, this plan is designed to handle and take
It’s more of a marketing tool than anything else
And due to your constant posting you will raise some funds but not gain wealth
Our gold plan is the favourite by far, and the one we recommend
This is where you share every highlight in your life
But only the good things never share real problems or strife
You’re in a relationship, put that up
it will get you a bunch of likes and even more congratulations,
You’re on vacation, take a bunch of selfies plaster it on your wall,
your stock will go up and never fall
You see a video keeps popping up, watch it share it and tell people you love it
Nothing gives you currency like being part of a viral vid
The rule of the gold plan is to follow the trends raise your stock so you can go to the next plan, The ever coveted platinum, yes it exists
At this level you take selfies in the bathroom, you make a kid and you raise him on your feed, Every thought that crosses your mind goes up,
because it’s not about quality but about the deed,
Sharing, that is the key word
Nothing is too stupid, nothing is too absurd
You will lose some copper level friends, because they don’t understand
But all in all, platinum level plans are always in demand
Periodically change your job, get some likes on that
Travel travel travel, you will get some comments for that
Throw in some humour, and you might even get a few shares
Keep in mind, whatever you post has to be from the standpoint “everyone cares”
Move into a new house, show the before and after we need to see the work you put in
You’re about to eat, a picture of food is always a good thing
A wedding is a jackpot for social currency
And if you add a baby after that, prepare for media insanity
Excuse me, oh the diamond plan, oh no that’s only for certain people
Not everyone can handle the required feed to satisfy that specific need
I mean it’s mandatory that every pic is half naked
And every pic needs to be cleaned before you even place it
It’s a lot of work, more than most people are willing to do
But far be it from me to decide for you
So do tell, which plan are you?
