I wish more than anything I could change for you

I wish I could increase my vocabulary and tell you something new

I wish I could go inside my soul and rewire my hardware

I wish I could rewrite the code of my being and hack my software

I wish I could be who you want me to be

But no matter how I try I always end up being me

And I try to stop my bad ways, but they seem engrained in my core

Need you to believe me when I say I don’t wanna sing the blues anymore

I want to be happy with you, and love you in a way no one else can

I want to hold you and adore you, let me be your number 1 fan

It’s just that, I feel like there is no way to get you back

We keep playing this game where the blame is thrown left and right

And I feel like it’s my fault we can’t get this right

I want A but crave B while looking at C and telling you I need D

Then get frustrated cause I feel like you don’t understand me

It’s driving me crazy, it’s killing me because it’s so easy and yet so Ugh

Feelings get intertwined with ego and logic tries to separate the two

And the only thing I’m left with is being incapable and still wanting to love you, looking for the right words in the midst of missing you

But I can’t for the life of me stop, and I don’t want it to go down

And it’s so frustrating that I don’t but do want you around

I can definitely like you, maybe love you, but never the way you want me to

It’s just not that simple for me, but it’s something I want to do

I want to reconstruct the possibility of us, a future, a we, a you and me

But I feel like I have OCD the way I can’t control my insanity

I want it a certain way, but I don’t want it that way and you … you

You just look at everything way to easy and that’s why I can’t get you back

And the scales weighing my good and bad are unfairly stacked

I am working on me, trying to be better, I’m trying to improve

I’m trying to love you trying to make you love me, I don’t want to lose

But there is just no way, there are no words for me to say

You just won’t stay, and this is just a game we constantly play

I don’t want to play anymore, I’m tired of the past, I want more

But I’ve been wanting it for so long, but I never made it

Perhaps it’s because I’m just too complicated