I hate myself, everytime I walk past my mirror I want to take it down
My reflection never shows me what I want to see
These images I cant live up to define my reality
Sometimes I want to go back in time and apologize to my younger self for becoming what I am
The saddest thing is I know whats wrong with me but I cant fix it
Its as if my real self is locked up in a cage of insecurities and anxiety
Put there by a fear of not being accepted or not being good enough
And everyday I see failure looking back at me
I tell myself I can do, but reality loves to make me into a liar
I fight myself everyday, but now Im tired, because I never win
I always lose to myself regardless of what I say or do
What tears me up is I see so many experience what I go through
I wish I could run away from myself and be happy
Happy with who I am, happy with where my life is, just happy
I need one day, one day where my confidence isn’t tied to my weight
One time I wanna see the mirror and not hold my stomach with hate
Why do I keep comparing myself to others who aren’t real
Why do I let others dictate how I feel
And if it isn’t others, its my mind, everyone wins but me
I want to stay at home and cover up and hide
Maybe Im overthinking it, I hope Im overthinking it
I would give everything to talk to someone who understood me
Someone who didn’t trigger that feeling that I need them to get away from me, and I believe them when they tell me Im not crazy
I hate myself for feeling this way
Depression, anxiety, self hatred all of them have their day, but happiness never gets a say, I feel lost
No matter how many words I write I never find the ones to uplift myself, no matter how much praise I receive its negativity that sticks with me, Im driving myself crazy while forcing myself to be lonely
I hate myself, I break my body to make it look the way I think society wants it, Im a poet lost in a blank page
I am a lost soul sitting in a dark corner crying to himself
