Why does it matter?
Does it change who I am, while I’m standing in front of you?
Does it make what I feel for us, any less true?
What I was is no longer who I am
The past defines who you are, but I’m not limited by my history
Can’t we just say something beautiful like “my every mistake brought you to me”
So my every misstep was fate working its magic
And I had to learn how to love and some lessons were tragic
But some of them allowed me to love you the way I should
I was young wild and did everything I could
Don’t judge me based on decisions I made before we met
This Q&A can only lead to regret
I’m not who I used to be
Do you just want to compare how dirty I was and how wholesome you were?
How you rejected the possibility if a one night stand could occur
Or are you looking for a reason to break up and just want to use my past against me
Or is it fear of how you could be perceived when walking with me
The irrelevance of this number cannot be expressed thoroughly enough
If you’re secure with yourself and us, then that should be enough
Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to
I’m not hiding the bad it’s just that I want to show my best to you
I’ve grown up
And exactly at what digit would I step out of “a good number”?
4, 5 that’s probably where you’d stop
If I exceed 10 then what, your opinion of me will drop?
If I hit 20 then what, I’m a slut?
If I hit 30 then what, the ties we have need to be cut?
If I hit 40 then what, you would call me a full blown whore?
Can I ask you something, what would happen if I say I don’t remember anymore?
I never kept count cause it doesn’t matter to me, would that change your opinion of me
That the value of the act meant less than what it should have been
Or would you take comfort in the fact that with you it’s a different thing
I doubt it, because the sheer fact that you would ask this
Means that you want to do more than just reminisce
You want to judge me
And the only viable options in front of me
Is keep silent or lie
Because the truth will never fit the side I’ve shown you
I will never apologize for what I’ve done
But I can be NOT proud of it can’t I?
So before I answer, tell me this