This place sends shivers down my spine each and every time I set foot in its domain. This place has scared off even the clouds and thus took with it the rain. If you listen closely, you can still hear the wind carry the screams of the souls it took. The very soil is spoiled with the after-effects of actions that will never make it into books. Yes, this was the land of Yakko the witch. Her last name was literally ‘Witch’, and her middle name was seriously ‘The’. She reigned over these lands with magic and sorcery and vile energy. Her spells were usually in the form of supreme sarcasm, it was messed up being around her. Her disciples took the brunt of her constant letdowns, all for a chance to learn from her. Yakko was beyond measure. She had but one weakness and that was pottery. She loved her, a well-made ceramic bowl. They used to say that Yakko was nice, but that one faithful night she changed. Her rage swallowed the sun, blackened the moon, scorched the earth, all-around just made it a bad place to live.
And when I say swallowed and blackened, I just mean she dropped it in brightness a few shades. Her electricity bill would have been crazy otherwise. But it was enough to show her strength and embed fear into the people of this land so deep you can still smell it to this day. There were a lot of dirty pants that night. So, everyone left and only the witch stayed. She must have been lonely for she promised riches, fame, beauty, health, and vitality to any and all who would keep her company. But none would trust a witch. This enraged her even more. She called forth a demon. A demon so wicked it never blinked. It’s said that this demon would go into people’s houses and steal all their spoons. He would then melt the spoons down and make shoes out of them. He would use those shoes to purposely step on people’s toes. And stare at them with his never blinking eyes.
He was a scary demon. But his love for brushing hair was a perfect match for the witch who had infamously bad hair. What the witch didn’t know was that the demon never closed the doors behind him. All his friends, his enemies, his family, and his pets came into the world. They brought forth misery, agony, and pain wherever they went. No mere mortal was strong enough to stop. But that is when our hero arrived in these lands. He heard the rumors about the witch and how lonely she was. He brought her a beautiful ceramic cup; made from the finest dirt he could find. He found the witch and the demon in the middle of a brushing session. He had to look away, her hair shined so bright, he held out the cup and the witch was smitten. She loved it. But the demon wouldn’t accept it. The demon attacked our hero and they fought. Oh, they fought. They fought for 49 days, 16 hours, and 2 minutes.
Our hero slew the demon and found in its chest a beautiful ring engraved with the name “Shuri”. Yakko vowed to work on her anger management and told our hero he is always welcome here. But our hero was not one to go where he wasn’t needed. Our hero was looking to be of service. Not so that a mere guide could brag about his deeds, but because to be of service to others is to find happiness in yourself. The bones of the great demons still decorate these lands. As our hero made his leave, he made sure to slay all the other demons that came forth from the abyss. And he locked the door with some pink chewing to hold it together. And to this day, Yakko is still working on her anger. I heard she turned a guy into a frog, like yesterday. He supposedly ate cornflakes out of her favorite bowl. I’m not saying she’s right, but I get it. Because she still rules these lands.
